The Presidential Candidate and the Russian Guru

Wallace and Roerich

Ok. You amateur detectives and code-breakers, try to decipher this:

Dear Guru, I have been thinking of you holding the casket – the sacred most precious casket. And I have thought of the New Country going forth to meet the seven stars under the sign of the three stars. And I have thought of the admonition “Await the Stone.”
 
It’s part of a letter that continues in this weird vain and is signed by “Galahad.”

In 1948, “Galahad” was a candidate for president of the United States, giving his first press conference here in Philadelphia at the Bellevue-Stratford Hotel. The candidate was Henry Wallace, former vice president and former secretary of agriculture under Franklin D. Roosevelt.

According to one author that press conference left Wallace’s “candidacy a tattered ruin.”

Westbrook Pegler, a sardonic syndicated columnist had obtained about 20 of these strange, coded “Guru letters” that Wallace had written in the 1930s to Russian artist and mystic Nicholas Roerich.

On the one hand, Wallace was a highly educated agronomist and economist whose many accomplishments included developing the first commercial hybrid corn. But Wallace was also a religious seeker. He swallowed whole the occult mysticism of Tibet, India and China as taught by Roerich.

So, as Wallace faced the reporters the night before his new Progressive Party would nominate him for president, there were two big questions:
Was Wallace a Communist and what on earth did the “Guru letters” mean?

Wallace refused to denounce the support of the American Communist Party and no matter how many times reporters asked and badgered him about the Guru letters, he side-stepped the issue.

Finally, when the esteemed writer H.L Mencken asked about the mysterious letters, Wallace said, “I’ll handle this in my own way at my own time.”

In his column the next day, Pegler repeatedly referred to Wallace as “Old Bubblehead” and “Mortimer Snerd.” He called the letters “imbecilic” and “goofy.” The Inquirer’s front page headline read “Wallace Dodges Ties to Communists, But Accepts Red Support.”
 
Needless to say, Wallace did not win a single electoral vote in the presidential race and less than three percent of the popular vote. Philly had scored the trifecta in 1948 with the Democrats, GOP and
Progressives all holding their convention here. All avoided Philly for the next 50 years. We will explain in a future post.

One last word about the Guru Letters. They had first emerged in 1940 after it was too late for FDR to dump Wallace. Roosevelt handled the situation by letting the Republican know that if they released the letters, he would expose the extra-marital affairs of Republican candidate Wendell Willkie.

So, the Guru letters disappeared for four years and Willkie’s alleged love affair remained secret.

As Freddy Mercury Once Said: We Are the Champions

Chaka Fatah

About a year ago the VICE Website ran an article with the headline:  Is Philadelphia the Most Corrupt City in America?

The answer to this question was a resounding yes!

Here’s what VICE said: “Move over Chicago. Back off of the Line Detroit. Be easy Big Easy. This is Philly: machine politics, pay to play, and blatant nepotism is the norm in this jawn.”

The article is not long, but it backs up its claims to Philadelphia infamy, citing such names as Seth Williams, Chaka Fattah, corrupt traffic court judges, nepotism in the parking authority, city commissioners office etc.

On a more encouraging note – no major politician has been charged with crime since the VICE article appeared.

Not the Proper Moment to Barf

Dilworth and Mellon's Party Moment

Remember Mayor Richardson Dilworth? 

Certainly you recall him as a handsome, distinguished, upper-crust gentleman – so competent that many feel he was the best Philadelphia mayor of the 20th century.

Born rich, he was raised mostly in Manhattan, attended private boarding school and spent summers with his family in Southampton on Long Island among other wealthy families, including the Mellons of Pittsburgh.

Dilworth says he started drinking during those Southampton summers. He later recalled getting into “a good deal of trouble” because of his boozing.

We don’t know the year, but Dilworth was invited to the “coming out” party for debutante Ailsa Mellon. Her father, Andrew Mellon, was super-rich and very powerful. He would later become U.S. Secretary of the Treasury.

Dilworth remembered dancing with Ailsa while he was “terribly drunk. And I lost my lunch all over Miss Mellon and her dress.”

Dilworth’s parent learned about their son’s barfing episode and were furious - but not half as angry as Andrew Mellon.

The next day Dilworth’s mother insisted he go to the Mellon house and apologize .
“She didn’t trust me, so she marched me around to the Mellon household. Old man Mellon was the coldest man I ever saw. I don’t believe he had ever been drunk,” Dilworth said in an interview.

“So, I was ushered in by Mother and had to apologize to the old man and it was like talking to a stone statue. And he just sat there absolutely frozen and he said, ‘Well, I’ll overlook it because of your mother.’”

From time-to-time, Dilworth’s drinking problem re-emerged. Ailsa Mellon inherited great wealth, married a U.S. Senator and was an important philanthropist and patron of the arts.

Frank Humor: The Wit of Rizzo

 

When you think about former mayor and tough-guy cop Frank Rizzo, humor is not a word that comes to mind. However, those who knew him say Rizzo often displayed a sharp wit.

Here are two tales of Rizzo’s wit from retired TV reporter Mike Strug.

When Rizzo was mayor he was hospitalized briefly to have hemorrhoids removed. Always willing to meet with reporters that he liked, Strug and his cameraman had no difficulty visiting his room at the hospital .

Rizzo cracked-up Strug and a couple of other visitors saying: ‘Now I am what my enemies have always said I was – the PERFECT ASSHOLE'.

Another time Strug was chatting with Rizzo on the street while the then Police Commission smoked a cigarette. A newspaper reporter came up to Rizzo and said “Frank, you’ve got to stop smoking. I just got out of the hospital and I quit. You gotta stop.”

Rizzo didn’t hesitate a second, says Strug. The commissioner said, “Well, Joe (or whatever his name was) I knew a guy who didn’t smoke. He didn’t drink. Didn’t fool around with women. And he got hit in the ass by a 47 trolley.” Strug says he has often used the same joke.

As a final example of the Rizzo’s humor, we repeat an earlier post from this blog. It’s a memory of advertising man Elliot Curson. He recalled Rizzo declaring that he was so popular that when he walked into a funeral home, “Everyone stood up but the corpse.”

The Slings And Arrows of Philly Politicians

Dilworth, Rizzo and Street: No Holds Barred

A few politicians manage to insult – sometimes destroy - their political opponents with humor. 

Here are a few examples from Philly politics.

In the mayoral race in 1955 Democrat Richardson Dilworth used this humorous description of GOP opponent Thacher Longstreth: “A big good-natured human replica of a Saint Bernard puppy. The only drawback being he doesn’t have a keg of brandy hanging from his neck.”

During a debate between Frank Rizzo and GOP challenger Tom Foglietta, Rizzo declared: “If you had any sense, you could take a reading of this crowd here today and go home and slit your throat.”

Running for mayor for the first time in 1947 Democrat Richardson Dilworth had “kind words” for incumbent Mayor Bernard Samuels; “Barney Samuels is a nice little guy, I don’t mean he wouldn’t cut your balls off, but he was always a nice little guy.”

Philadelphia’s all-time champion rascal, T. Milton Street, attacked incumbent Mayor Michael Nutter: “What I want you guys (press) to do when you get home is stop at an electric store and get you a one-watt light bulb. And go into a room and plug it in. Turn out all the lights, and you’re going to see how bright (Nutter) is.”

Boies Penrose: Senator Eats More Than His Fair Share

He was a Harvard grad and a U.S. Senator for more than 20 years, and if Boies Penrose was alive today he would win the annual Wing Bowl with hardly a belch.

Before gluttony became a sport, Penrose was a champion eater. He stood about 6-foot-4 and hit 350-pounds as a senior master glutton. Several people recorded a typical Penrose breakfast: a dozen fried eggs, a dozen rolls, a one-pound slab of ham and a quart of coffee.

He loved oysters. The story is told how a customer in one of his favorite bars challenged Penrose to an oyster-eating contest. The challenger got sick and quit at about 35 oysters. Penrose decided to stop at 50.

It’s not clear whether the following story of Penrose’s eating prowess happened at banquet or fancy restaurant. It involved squabs (or similar fowl called rail birds).....

A large platter was delivered to the table with 26 birds arranged around a bowl of wild rice and another bowl of gravy. Penrose attacked the entire platter. He proceeded to eat every bird, all the rice and drink the gravy.

If this story of heroic gluttony seems exaggerated, it must be pointed out that several witnesses said the Senator could polish off an entire turkey.

Don Russell Remembers: The Great Football Holding Test

Don Russell, veteran reporter, editor and beer expert, says journalism has been a mostly fun career. One Daily News story stands out in his memory “because it captures the fun, the inanity, the joy of working for a big city tabloid"

“It was September 1997, and the Eagles were meandering toward a losing season,” Russell recalls.

“Among the worst losses was the one against Dallas when Tom Hutton mishandled a snap on a gimme, last minute goal that would have won the game,” Russell explains. (The Cowboys won 21-20) He says it wasn’t a bad snap; Hutton simply just goofed-up holding the football for the kicker.

Russell says every sports fan in the city agonized over the loss. “How hard can it be to hold a f-- king football,” an editor said the next morning and a light bulb popped in Russell’s mind. “I don’t know. Let’s find out.”

Russell found a football, a piece of green outdoor carpet to simulate fake turf, and someone in the sports department convinced LaSalle College to send over their place-kicker.

The reporter, a photographer and the kicker set up the experiment in City Hall Courtyard and soon attracted a crowd. Volunteers in the crowd held the football for the few seconds it took for the kicker to make a clean kick. And sure enough, no one – not even a female Dutch tourist who had never seen a football – had any problem handing the pigskin.

Russell heard a familiar voice behind him asking what he was doing. It was City Councilman Rick Mariano. “I told him and he said ‘let me try.’ Just to prove it was easy, he one-handed the snap and held it in place without loosening his tie,” says the reporter.

Then Mariano (who later went to jail) said he wanted to kick one. “Here, hold this.” Mariano said,  handing the surprised reporter his holstered handgun. Russell said the councilman booted the ball squarely. But Mariano said it was not long enough, “I was trying to kick into Rendell’s window.” 

How hard is it to hold a football? “As Easy as One, Two, Three,” declared a Daily News headline the following day.

Philadelphia Mayor Story: Nutter On Street

In a televised interview, former Mayor Michael Nutter was asked about the transition from Philadelphia mayor to private citizen. In his usual rambling way of speaking, Nutter talked about being constantly chauffeured by a police driver during his eight years as mayor and for several months after he left office.

Nutter said he gave a lecture at Columbia University in Manhattan and was anxious to catch a 5 p.m. train to Philadelphia, and summoned a ridesharing vehicle.

“I jumped into the wrong vehicle,” Nutter recalled. “We’re a few blocks away when the driver gets a call asking where he is at. He realizes he has the wrong passenger. He tells me to get out. I get out. Call my driver. He asks where I was. I had no idea, and there were no street signs. You know how long those New York avenues are?” 

It was then Nutter was struck by the harsh fact that he was no longer a mayor with a police driver.
“I was just another guy standing in the street,”

Senator Boies Penrose Suggests an Alternative To Church Membership

Boies Penrose, a U.S. senator 1897-1921 was known for his huge appetite for food and drink. 

When an advisor suggested that he join a church, Penrose disdainfully declared:
“I won’t do anything of the sort. I’ll tell you what I’ll do. I’ll promise to distribute my drinking more evenly among the saloons most popular with the pillars of the various churches.

“I already drink regularly with three Catholic priests, four of five Episcopal rectors and God knows how many Baptist, Methodist, and Presbyterian elders.

“As drinkers they have their weaknesses. The best drinkers I know are the Quakers. They are sober even when drunk.”

Philadelphia City Council: Not Ready For Prime Time

The room where City Council meets is quite ornate and impressive, but the members are often inarticulate, dim-bulbs, causing one anonymous wit to remark: “It’s like the cast of Guys and Dolls performing at Versailles.”

Marion Barry's Bet With Ed Rendell: Joe Conklin Muses

Conklin imagines a telephone conversation between former Mayor Ed Rendell and Washington, D.C. ex-Mayor Marion Barry, a man caught using drugs on tape.

“I’ll bet you a cheese steak sandwich that the Eagles beat the Redskins next Sunday,”
says Rendell.

“No, says Barry, ‘I want the crack in the Liberty Bell’.”

Frank Rizzo: How Popular Was The Philadelphia Mayor?

Advertising man Elliot Curson remembers Mayor Frank Rizzo saying: “I’m so popular that I walked into a funeral home the other day and everyone stood up except the guy in the coffin.”

Beer or Baseball? Philadelphia Athletics vs the Chicago Cubs: Herbert Hoover vs The World Series Crowd

When President Herbert Hoover came to Shibe Park to watch the third game of the 1929 World Series, pitting the Philadelphia Athletics against the Chicago Cubs, the fans wanted the President to know what they thought of the prohibition of alcoholic beverages.

Instead of cheering the President after he was introduced, fans chanted “Beer! Beer! We Want beer!” It might have been the first time a President was heckled in a non-political setting.

Philadelphia Judges: From Bad to Worse to Worst

A thick book can be written about all the terrible judges Philly has produced...

Take, for instance, ex-cop Shamus (often called shameless) McCafferty who somehow
was elected to the Pennsylvania Supreme Court. He voluntarily left the high court after 234 pornographic e-mails and dirty jokes were found on his state-owned computer. His wife, who also was a lawyer, and worked for her husband, chalked up $1.2 million in finders’ fees by referring lucrative law cases to other law firms.


Then there was Judge Bernard Avellino who reduced rape charges down to 30 days in jail because the victim was so ugly. If fact, he called her “coyote ugly . . . no man would want to
rape her.”

But no judge was quite as ridiculously unqualified and shameless as former traffic court judge as Willie Singletary.

Traffic court judges do not need a law degree and are usually loyal party hacks. No one knows why Willie ran for the job, especially since he owed $11,000 in unpaid traffic tickets and had a suspended driver’s license. Oh yeah, he owed thousands in unpaid child support.

And another thing, Willie solicited money from a motorcycle club for his election, by reminding them that if elected, he could fix their tickets.

Willie was probably elected because a drawing placed his name at the top of the ballot. 

It’s hard to believe, but Willie’s “Willy” got him tossed off traffic court. Willie was so proud of his erect “Willy” that he took photos of it and showed it to a female court employee. “Like that? Do, you like that?” the proud jurist reportedly asked the shocked woman. She went to police and soon Singletary was in hot water. The state Judicial Conduct Board investigated the matter.

In a written report, that provided much humorous material for comedian John Oliver and newspapers, the board wrote: “We hold that a judge who grooms his penis for photography” did it on purpose not accidentially, as Willie asserted.

Willie, who is also hallelujah-shouting, Bible-thumping preacher, was in much deeper trouble. Along with the other Philadelphia Traffic Court judges he was under FBI scrutiny for ticket fixing. He brought a flock of his religious followers to federal court but his pious preaching could not save him from a two-year prison sentence for lying to the FBI.